There are probably many aspects to the double bind illustrated in “It hurts me, too“. Here is what it boils down to for me:
Someone says: Never do I want to hurt anyone.
Someone else replies: By this you do. The way you are hurts.
Finding particular reasons is left as an exercise for my dear readers.
A friend of mine, after we had been together for about 3 years, once wrote to me:
Why do you react like I am playing an important role in your life? I don’t know but I guess there must be a reason. Anyway, the way you are hurts me, and it puts me off.
I don’t know either, but I think we can call this some painfully sad words. I am afraid, they can make even a liar cry for the hidden double bind. If someone who we do not want to hurt tells us that we do
we are cursed.
