Welcome to the Club of Liars!

Feeling not accepted

January 26th, 2006

You probably know the feeling of being not accepted the way you are. Since many years, for instance, my grandmother wants me to cut my hair. Some friends, as you might imagine, dislike what I am writing. Others, it appears, can’t stop moaning about my way of life. Why is it so difficult to accept me just the way I am?

Maybe, it’s because
if I am feeling not accepted by others, if I wish others would accept the way I am, then I do not accept others the way they are. I simply do not accept that they do not accept me.

Feedback of students

January 25th, 2006

Yesterday, at the end of a series of lectures on human ecology, a lecturer uttered just after her own talk when the audience had left, that it is a pity that lecturers get so little feedback from the students, especially during one’s talk.

When I heard that my liar’s heart began to jump, my ears got spocky and my eyes made themselves ready to gleam into the bitter darkness of self-reference.

Fortunately, the lecturer did not hesitate to provide us with some possible explanations: It was late in the evening. It was the end of term. And, students are used to be quiet, they are rarely asked for feedback anyway, so how should they know.

When you have lost your key Paul Watzlawick unforgettably — I thought — showed us how ridicule it is to look for it where the lantern is shining instead of the place where you probably have lost it.

Apparently, self-reference hurts like hell. Maybe, I should have been nice by adding some more far away explanations: The lecture hall is to blame. The chairs, the tables, the light, and the air, they are all bad (and they are). Students do not know the importance of drinking during lectures. They have never learned to concentrate. They are distracting each other. They are having too much fun at nights. Or, yes, I have heard that often: They are just more stupid these days. No, it’s not their fault. It’s because primary school is bad, and the parents are to blame, too, of course.

Enough.

If someone is asking for feedback she or he should be prepared to learn about themselves. If a lecturer is talking to an audience there is always feedback, especially if there is none (that is “none” in the sense of the one who is bemoaning it).

Of course, many explanations can be found. All are somehow involved. And mine are lies anyway. But for the sake of it, here are some explanations that lecturers may want to avoid like the plague:

  • Lecturers are talking too fast, or not loud enough.
  • The slides are badly prepared, and they are shown too fast.
  • The information provided is asking for too much of the students.
  • The contents are too dense and too complicated.
  • Concepts have been simplified too much, so they lost their coherence.
  • Or, maybe, part of the contents is plain wrong.
  • The talk is peppered with technical terms.
  • The lecturers’ gestures signal uncertainty and weariness.
  • They are reading out instead of talking freely.
  • They are not looking at the students but on their laptops.
  • Lecturers are simply not asking for feedback.
  • If there is feedback they are not answering in an encouraging manner.
  • And, I am sure, others can come up with more.

One explanation is left to me, though:
I believe they are no liars. It’s just me.

By the way, your feedback is welcome.

True contradiction

January 24th, 2006

Today, in a conversation with a friend I wrote

If something leads to a contradiction
it is probably true.

I believe this is probably true.

The original text was in German but that does not render it less strange:

Wenn etwas auf einen Widerspruch hinausläuft,
ist es vermutlich wahr.

Agreeing not to agree

January 23rd, 2006

In a nice lecture series on human ecology (PDFs) I recently asked the lecturers and the audience what we can agree upon. My question was provoked since many lecturers repeatedly stressed the importance of diversity and tolerance. Anyway, my question was at most answered by silence.

So, I asked: “Can we agree upon the fact that we should agree upon something,” which in fact led to quite a discussion about what we might agree upon (for instance a discussion of indicators of sustainable development). One argument chased another only until someone asked why after all we have to agree upon something. Well, of course, they clearly see a need for diversity and alternatives, also in regard to strategies and opinions.

I then asked: “You mean we should agree that we should not agree?”

Accusing someone

January 18th, 2006

If you accuse someone of accusing someone what exactly are you doing?

[For what it’s worth, this question sprang to my mind after seeing the mind-boggling film “Manderlay” by Lars von Trier.]

A few months ago, a close friend of mine pointed out to me that I did something wrong. Disgruntled, I objected: “I can’t believe you are blaming me!” — Well, maybe I shouldn’t have.

If I am blaming someone for blaming someone I might as well blame myself of blaming someone for blaming someone. And so on. We better stop here and now.

Epictetus said: “To accuse others for one’s own misfortunes is a sign of want of education.” Indeed, probably many are to agree. Do not accuse someone of accusing someone.

So, next time we hear of dictatorial governments that are intolerant of any opposition, when we hear of racial or religious intolerance, or worse, we shall be good and brave: We will tolerate intolerance. That’s the way we have been taught. Do not accuse others for your own misfortunes. Be not intolerant of intolerance.

How could we ever counter intolerance?

Hören Sie nicht auf mich

January 17th, 2006

Wenn ich Ihnen einen guten Rat geben darf,
hören Sie nicht auf mich!

Understand not to understand

January 14th, 2006

A friend let me know that he did not understand my last year’s X-mess card. What if the card was all about not understanding? Or even understanding not to understand?

Welcome liars, or not?

January 12th, 2006

Welcome as a new member of the Club Of Liars! Or, tell me, have you already been a member?