Asking for the opposite

Today, I bought an eagerly awaited book. On my way back to the office, I was going by tram, and of course, I immediately started reading my new book. Shortly afterwards, a woman approached me and asked me: May I ask you something?

I smiled, knowing that once you have heard this question there is only 1 possible answer no matter what you are going to “answer”. You could say “No!” but then this is an answer to her question. You could say “Yes, but only this 1 question”. Yet, I guess, that’s likely to provoke another question.

Anyway, I kept smiling and said: Yes. She then asked: Are you vegetarian? I said: No. She: Uh, you eat everything?
I was already about to say “Yes” when it hit me: Sure enough, I do not eat everything. I mean, at last, I’d have a problem swallowing myself. So, I clearly stated: No.

She went on asking me some more but I was already so much confused that I helplessly hold up my book so that she can read the cover:

E. & H. Bulitta: Wörterbuch der Synonyme und Antonyme
(Dictionary of Synonyms and Antonyms; that is a dictionary listing similar words and words that mean the opposite)

She looked at the cover and asked: You are reading a lot? While I was silently thinking what it means to “read a lot of a dictionary” she concluded: You are an artist!?

I stayed silent and continued to read my book. But, now that I think of it, maybe, I should have said: No, I am not an artist, I am liar. :-)

By the way, after I got off the tram I looked up the opposite of “vegetarian” only to find (pun intended) that the word is not listed. So, maybe the woman knew better than me that the cover says nothing about the contents.

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